Aggravation Proven & The Penalty Phase

It has been a week or so since I last blogged. I have three kids and a husband who frequently works out of town so time to myself is scarce. In fact, I was slated to be on HLN After Dark down at the CNN Center in Atlanta earlier this week but was unable to due to kid commitments. I'm not complaining! I am blessed! They've been kind enough to accommodate me as soon as I can get down there!

As we all know by now, aggravation was proven by the state yesterday and we are now in the penalty phase - the end is near. Should they come back with a death penalty verdict, she will be sentenced on the spot. If they choose life in prison, she will be sentenced in a month or so. I think all of us Travis supporters are breathing a collective sigh of relief in knowing that regardless of life or death, Jodi Arias will never see anything beyond the concrete walls and bars that surround her. Will she stand by the words given in the post-conviction interview and ask for death if she testifies during this? Or, will she exhaust every appeal available? We all know Jodi loves the limelight, so I think the latter is correct.

Juan Martinez has been simply amazing. There's not much more I could say about him that I haven't already said in earlier blogs. He was meant to be the voice for Travis. His passion never faltered. His dedication has been unwavering. Detective Flores deserves major respect too. The citizens of Maricopa County should feel proud that these two men are one of them.

It also came out today that Nurmi and Willmott asked to be removed from the case,. This was denied by the judge. Did anyone else notice that both Nurmi and Willmott wore blue today? Blue - the official color of the Justice For Travis cause. Coincidence? Planned? It's an interesting thought.

Today we saw Travis's siblings, Steven and Samantha Alexander, stand up for their brother and give victim impact statements. It was heartbreaking for me to see Steven struggle to not break down and cry as he told the jury the Travis that really existed, not the Travis that Jodi made up in a desperate attempt to justify the way she butchered him. Steven read Travis's blog entry about how 2008 was going to be the best year of Travis's life. We all know, he did not live to see those dreams that Steven read to us come to fruition. His pause when he read about how Travis wanted to find the perfect mate was powerful. I'm sure Steven was thinking about how Travis finding the worst woman he could have found was the very reason he was standing in that courtroom today. I know Steven, along with the rest of the Alexander family have often wondered what Travis's life would be like now, in 2013. He would probably be married with children. They'll never know. Steven told of the emotional and physical ramifications he has suffered as a result of his brother's murder. I pray that Steven finds peace. I pray that Steven lives life to the fullest, just as Travis would have wanted him to. I know Steven will find his way. He seems so strong yet so fragile. Seeing a man cry gets me every time. Steven, you did your brother proud. His voice came through you. He was beside you today as you stood before that entire gallery of people.

Samantha gave an equally emotional and heartfelt tribute to her brother while focusing on Travis's generosity to strangers and his dedication to his family. I never noticed, until today, how Samantha and Travis have the same eyes. Wow. It was like seeing him for a second in her eyes. Samantha spoke of Travis's singing voicemails. Travis was their rock. Travis inspired them all to lead bigger and better lives. His grandmother died of a broken heart. I felt her sorrow as she looked at a photo of them together, which was a couple of weeks before his brutal murder. It is sad to think that moment frozen in time was the last time they were together. It is sad to look at that photo and know what was going to happen to him in a few short weeks. The entire Alexander family's strength and poise has been quite remarkable. Let's hope we never have to be in their shoes. I can't imagine their heartache. 

Court recessed for lunch but was eventually postponed until Monday. Why? I have heard that one of Jodi Arias's character witnesses wishes to remain off-camera while she attempts to portray Jodi as a victim of her upbringing and as a model friend. Smart move for her, as most of America, and anyone with an ounce of common sense, knows Jodi is a cold-blooded murderer. Expert witnesses and the defense lawyers themselves have been threatened on the internet, via mail, and phone, and in person. While I find these types of things pathetic, I can't say I am surprised. This case has brought out so much emotion in people who never knew Travis Alexander. I don't think I have seen anything like it. Maybe it's because we all see a piece of ourself in Travis. Maybe some have an older brother they adore and can't fathom what his siblings have had to endure. Maybe it's because we know the brutal fashion in which he was murdered. For whatever reason, we've been glued to the coverage, and we have an emotional investment in seeing this case concluded. 

I think I saw something in Jodi's face today I haven't seen yet. Fear. Fake tears aside, I think the finality of this has hit her. I think all of these years since she murdered Travis,  she thought she would lie her way out of this in time to play herself in the Lifetime movie. Now she realizes that she has been found guilty of 1st degree murder and the death penalty is on the table. There's no "get out of jail free" hope for her now. She has been prevented from doing any interviews. She is forced to listen to all of the good things about Travis she knew to be true and she couldn't say a word. She can't speak to the local Fox station tonight. She is silenced until she takes the stand. When and if she does, I don't think it will have a chance of making any impact to the jury, to the public, or to Travis's family. Will she boast about her artwork and how this world needs her skills with colored pencils? Will she finally apologize for murdering Travis? If she does, I wouldn't believe a word of it. The pathetic attempt to squeeze tears from her eyes was sickening to watch. In fact, if you watch closely and zoomed in, Jodi was holding her breath and breathing out to give that "red faced" look. What an insult. She has no remorse. She has no sympathy for his family. She is a narcissist who only cares about herself. 

I know a huge weight has been lifted off of Travis's friends and family. While we all feel like we know them in some way now, we will never feel their loss the way they do. I guess if there's any beauty to be found in all of this is that Travis's goal to inspire people happened. Unfortunately it was after he was dead. But ultimately, I hope his family finds some comfort in knowing that their brother has changed lives. I hope they know they have inspired us by showing that strength can be found in the darkest of times. Week after week, we've seen them cry, sit stoically as they listened to made up stories about their brother. Yet they were respectful of the process in spite of the many times I am sure that they wanted to stand up and shout. I hope the end of this provides some sort of peace. We all know that won't be easy, but they should know they have our thoughts and prayers. 

Until Monday, let's continue to lift them up in prayer. We are nearing the finish line. It's amazing how a tragedy can bring people together just as this has.

Below are my favorite links on Facebook to discuss the case as well as my trial talk Twitter:

The State vs Jodi Arias: Travis Alexander murder trial

Justice4TravisAlexander

SupportTravisAlexandarsFamily

My Trial Talk Twitter

GUILTY

We've all watched as the defense painted Travis Alexander as a monster for over four months. We have all vented our frustration as we watched an injustice imposed on a dead man as it played out on a world stage. We shouted our, "Amen's", as Juan Martinez wrapped up his closing arguments. He brought Travis to that courtroom through his own words. Juan gave a voice to a dead man and his voice was loud and clear.

When verdict watch started I didn't know what to expect. I don't watch trials. I remember hearing the Casey Anthony verdict and saw the shock that came with it, but I didn't know the case well. I knew enough to think she should be in jail. I didn't want to get emotionally invested in a case when our justice system seems to fail on a regular basis and victims are made victims twice through unsubstantiated claims and allegations. But, I did. I didn't expect the emotions I would experience once the jury had the case.

I stayed glued to my TV, iPhone, or satellite radio. Monday and Tuesday passed and I silently began to lose faith. I had watched the legal analysts on HLN and heard reasons to be optimistic and also heard reasons to be nervous. Maybe a juror or two had some sympathy for Jodi. It happens. What seems cut and dry to us may not be so obvious to the 12 people on that jury. The subconscious is a strange thing. Did someone feel connected to her without really being aware of that? I worried the older jurors may not understand the phone sex tapes. While it's very common among younger people, the older jurors were raised in a different era. I worried that someone would find it offensive and hold that against Travis in spite of the fact it was consensual, encouraged, and deceitful on the part of Jodi obviously taping without his knowledge. I second guessed everything. Time was ticking. Two days passed with the jury packing up and going home.

When I woke up on Wednesday, I had a feeling. I read on Twitter that nobody was dressed any different and it seemed business as usual. That in one sense made me think we would be going to the next phase and the jury would be unable to talk to the media so there was no reason to doll up. But all in all I had a gut feeling that Wednesday was the day. I was picking up my older kids from school around 2:30. We were chatting as they were getting into the car when I caught, the words "Have a verdict". Like any good mother would do, I shushed the kids and it was repeated. 4:30 was the time we would learn if justice for Travis would be delivered or if we would cut the TV off wondering how in the heck a jury couldn't see what we all see.

I filled the time gap glued to HLN and playing with my children. I watched as the crowd outside the court grew to massive amounts, a true testament to how Travis's story has touched so many lives and how so many people were there to hear that justice had been served after a series of letdowns from juries past. We heard the shouts of, "Justice for Travis". We felt the tension from the comforts of our own homes, work, car, or wherever you found yourself during this waiting period. I don't think any of us knew for sure what we would hear.

We hear that the families and media were beginning to trickle into the court room. We waited again. Where was Jodi? Was she having a migraine? Was she having a panic attack? Finally, we heard those words that seemed so routine until now: "Please stand for the jury". My heart pounded. My eyes were glued to the TV and my ears felt like they were standing up like a dog's when it is on heightened alert.

The verdict began. It seemed to take 5 minutes to read the obligatory words that precede the actual one or two words that would end four months of the unknown. GUILTY. I heard the gasps from Travis's sister. I saw Jodi, who for once, looked lost and confused. I closed my eyes and said, "Finally Travis, you can now rest in peace". The jurors of Maricopa County have prevailed and restored the faith of many regarding the justice system.

I am so grateful that I have never had to lose a loved one in this manner. When you know someone is going to die you have time to mentally prepare yourself for when that moment comes. Even then, it's still somewhat of a shock when a death occurs. An accident would be harder for me to deal with. It's hard to comprehend that someone was there and all of a sudden they aren't. I think that the murder of a loved one would be the absolute worst way to lose someone. An accident, while tragic and sudden, is more comprehensible that knowing someone deliberately took your loved one. In this case, his family has had to relive his death for 4 months in a packed courtroom while the world watched. They saw the photos. They've heard how he suffered in the last moments of his life. I don't know how they have been able to remain so composed outwardly while we all know that inside they are being ripped apart. 

The saddest part of all of this is while justice was served for Travis and his family, this will never provide closure for them. This ends the 5-year nightmare that is Jodi Arias. This ends the 5-year worry of her possibly getting out of jail or getting a lesser sentence that doesn't account for her actions and the manner in which their loved one died. There will always be an empty seat at family gatherings. They will never be able to call Travis up to share good news, shoot the breeze, or get some encouragement. They will never see Travis marry a woman he loves. They will never see Travis holding his firstborn child. While Travis's spirit, character, and the lessons he shared with us will live on, life must go on for his family and friends without him. It's a void no other person can fill. It's a pain that will not subside. 

In time, Jodi Arias will become a distant memory for us until the random news article or news blurb pops up over the years. We will remember Travis. We remember the words from his motivational blogs, remember the stories his friends and family have shared with us about how he was a "Salt of the earth" guy, we will remember that no matter what life has thrown at us, we can still overcome and improve ourselves every day we are fortunate enough to wake up. Most of us have made friends on Facebook sites or Twitter that we would have never met otherwise. I think Travis would like that. 

(Photo used from Twitter. It was widely shared so thank you to whomever created it).

-GiGi

The Common Thread

When I began watching the Jodi Arias murder trial, I did something I don't normally do. I found myself glued to audio streams on my iPhone and coverage on HLN on my TV non-stop. I rarely get "committed" to too much of anything on TV except for 'Modern Family'. I have a personal connection to the show as I know the creator and director of the show and am old friends with his wife, so I like to watch his show week after week. I have four unwatched episodes of 'Mad Men' on my DVR because quite frankly I don't have the time with three kids who are seven, six, and one. They take up my time and I consider TV a rare pleasure other than my 30 minutes on Wednesday nights.

iPhone streams make it very easy to stay glued to the case. Let's face it. A 1-year-old doesn't understand the terminology and I keep it at a volume that is not easily heard by her. I do not watch or listen when the older kids are home because I don't want them to accidentally see or hear something that is inappropriate for their young eyes and ears. I found a Facebook page to keep me updated with the times I am unable to watch.

On the Justice4Travis Facebook page, I have made some unlikely friends. On Facebook, I typically pop off and on throughout the day to see what my friends are up to. I post a lot of photos of my kids and share the occasional funny joke or photo. What I found was over 41,000 people who felt the same way I did. It amazed me.

How could so many people, (and many, many more who are not a part of this page), find a common thread in a murdered man and a crazy woman. I quickly realized Jodi, unfortunately, is the reason we all know Travis's name. Had she not murdered him in cold blood, we would probably never know Travis Alexander's name.  While I wish this was the case and he was still alive, we all know why we're here. We all want to see her pay for the cruel way she took him from this earth. But, most importantly, I think we all see something in Travis that is appealing and familiar.

We all know that one person who, no matter the circumstances, is fun to be around. You love being around them because you know that a fun time will always be had. He was a world changer with his charm and wise beyond his years lectures. He was nice looking. He was probably the guy who would crawl out of bed at 4AM to help you change your flat tire. He would probably take the shirt off of his back for a friend or a stranger. We find something very familiar about Travis even though 99% of us on that page never had the privilege to know him. His untimely death caused a stir in us. Maybe it's knowing how Travis's family and friends have told us about the real Travis and not the imagined version of Travis that Jodi and the defense has attempted to portray. We've seen a dead man essentially killed twice since the start of the trial with zero evidence that any of the claims were even remotely true.

We hurt for his family. We've seen them bury their heads and wipe away their tears as they see the last photo of their brother alive and as they've had to see photos of their brother after he had been brutally murdered. They hear things they know aren't true but can't stand up and protest. They are the essence of class and poise. I think all 41,000 of us would love to give each of them a big hug and tell them that for some reason we can't explain that we love their brother too. We feel the loss along with them.

I can give all of these examples of why I am drawn to this trial and yet I am not sure I know why even now. I find myself suddenly getting nervous that, at the end of this week, it will be in the jury's hands. Juan, Nurmi, Willmott, will be powerless. Juan can't go into that jury room and speak for Travis. These men and women will draw a conclusion and we will have to accept that verdict. I feel in my heart that this jury is smart and that Mr. Martinez has been the voice for the voiceless. He has given all of himself to see that Travis Alexander's murderer never sees the light of day.

I find it pretty awesome that even in death, this young man is doing what he set out to do. Change lives. He still inspires people. He gives up hope that even with a less that stellar past, it doesn't define our future. We are our own captain in life. We can rise above adversity and become stronger. Travis didn't let his struggles growing up define him. He channeled them and used them as lessons to better himself. Most importantly, he did something few people can do. Bring millions of people together. And this is 5 years after his untimely passing.

That has to account for something, right? I have a feeling his legacy will last a lot longer than the woman's who ended his life. She will become a distant memory for most of us, while Travis has given us lessons, even in death, that most of us will carry with us in some way for a very long time.

Peace be with all of you. Justice For Travis.

Remember his precious family in your prayers this week. They need it more now than ever. They have the potential to finally get some closure so that they can move on with their lives. No doubt, it will be a very different life than if Travis were still with them. But, we all know Travis would want them to live their lives to the fullest.

ENJOY every single day you wake up. Live life, live more, stop and smell the roses. It's a privilege denied to many.

-GiGi

The Day Of Judgement Is Nearing

Like a lot of people, I have become somewhat obsessed with the Jodi Arias trial. I normally don't get into these types of media circus events for two reasons:

• I don't have time. I have a mother of 3 very active kids and I rarely have time to blink, much less devote hours a day to listening to a trial.

• I don't like learning about the absolute worst in humanity. Let's face it, Jodi Arias represents the worst in humanity. She slaughtered a man, I think, out of rage and jealousy. She was a woman rejected. She planned what, in her mind, was the perfect plan to slip into Arizona undetected, and give Travis one last chance to take her to Mexico. When he didn't agree, she killed him. The kinky sex wasn't enough to sway him. He knew she wasn't "The One". She decided there would never be a "One" for Travis if it wasn't her. 

I joined the trial a month or so in. Jodi was just taking the stand in her own defense when I began watching. After watching about 30 minutes, my inner sleuth concluded that she was guilty. I try to be open minded to events like this, but something about her just screamed she was guilty. I began researching the case online and caught some highlights of prior testimony. The medical examiner was pretty spot on when he laid out the injuries and the sequence of events that forensics can back up. I read the autopsy report, and being in the medical field, I was horrified at the brutality of the crime and the obvious pain and suffering Travis must have experienced before his body could take no more.

I learned very quickly that I could essentially take small naps in between questioning. Seriously, I have never heard any other person who can extend the word, "And", longer than Kirk Nurmi. I saw their pathetic attempt to turn the victim into the one on trial. The way Jodi and her defense team raped the legacy of what seems to be a very fun-loving, intelligent, and successful man is really sickening. I absolutely believe that if you are going to make allegations of things such as pedophilia, you must have SOME sort of proof or reason to validate your story. In fact, several times I became so disgusted that I had to turn the trial off for a while. Did they find any evidence of such things on his computer? No. Did they find photos at his house? No. Did he hang out with children on a constant basis? No. Did Travis happen to clean all the evidence up because he knew he might be murdered the day Jodi came? No. Come on, people. It's not rocket science. I am horrified such allegations were allowed while several videos of Jodi acting like an idiot during questioning were not allowed because it would self-incriminate.

I have read a lot of people who are not happy with Judge Stevens. I, for one, like her. I know this is her first death penalty case. She doesn't have the experience that some judges in Phoenix do. But, I believe she is being very cautious to avoid a mistrial. While we like to think we know more than the lawyers and judges do, we don't. She probably has a very valid reason for some of the things she's allowed that we don't agree with.

The man, the myth, the legend, Juan Martinez! I could spend all day writing about this man. I don't think I have ever seen such a passionate prosecutor. He has had a few 'Perry Mason' moments where he wow'd me. The gas purchases was the best one! Also, the WalMart, "I returned the gas cans", lie he caught Jodi in. I literally woke my napping baby up with my excited shout of, "BOOM"! I think in some poetic way, Juan was meant to be the voice of Travis. I really hope we see Juan on some talk shows post-trial. I would be very interested to read a book by him regarding his approach and take on the whole process. A part of me thinks Juan is too humble for that kind of thing, though. He may be ready to immerse himself in the next trial he has coming up. Who knows?

Last week saw a much needed change of pace for the trial. The rebuttal phase was fast and a breath of fresh air. Witness after witness discredited the state's "expert" witnesses who clearly were biased and seemed to have fallen under Jodi's spell. Alyce LaViolette could not have been more one sided if she tried. She essentially told us that even though Jodi has lied since the beginning of the case, she chose to believe Jodi's claims of domestic abuse and further went on to say that Travis had anger issues based on a couple of text messages and emails. The thing that bothered me about this testimony is the fact that Alyce said herself that 90 percent of communication is non-verbal. I don't think we will ever know the reason behind the scathing text where Travis tells Jodi she is a "sociopath". I have a good idea that Jodi was threatening Travis with either the phone sex tape or the pedophilia claims. Regardless, it is human for all of us to lose our cool from time to time and say things out of anger. Obviously the infraction Jodi committed to warrant a response from a seemingly otherwise level-headed man was huge.
Dr Samuels was not very believable in his description of PTSD and his testing techniques seemed very sketchy at best. The jury questions echoed my thoughts.

The breath of fresh air came in the form of Dr. Demarte. While the defense tried to discredit her due to her younger age, I don't think they succeeded. Her rapid fire answers were presented with confidence and she sounded very sure of her diagnosis of "Borderline Personality Disorder". The defense did not want this heard for a very good reason. Borderline Personality Disorder, unlike PTSD, is not treatable. It is a scary diagnosis for someone. They are stuck with this for life. While most people with BPD lead very normal lives for the most part, someone like Jodi obviously takes that diagnosis to the extreme. All of the parameters for someone diagnosed with this fit Jodi. The state has frantically found an "expert" to discredit this diagnosis and it will be presented on Wednesday, May 1st. Dr. Robert Geffner will attempt to sway the jury to wipe Dr. Demarte's opinion off the radar. I am not too worried about this witness.  And, as a colleague of Alyce LaViolette's, I don't think Juan will waste any time in pointing that out, which should end his credibility quickly. I think the jury is smart. They are using common sense as seen in their questions for witnesses. This is one last desperate attempt to end on a good note for the defense. It's like trying to piece back together a shattered glass. It's not likely to happen.

Wednesday has the potential to be a long and draining day in court. The judge has said that they will not recess until testimony is completed. With the pace of the defense's questions, we may go well into the morning hours of Thursday. Closing arguments are Thursday and Friday and then the jury will likely begin deliberations on Monday.

The end is near. I know Travis's family must be the most stressed they've been yet. To us who have followed this trial, it seems pretty obvious what happened and how the verdict should go. She should get 1st degree premeditated and a sentence of death or life. But, not knowing what the jury is thinking has to be a source of worry for his family. We've all seen the trials where a guilty verdict seems very likely only to hear, "Not guilty" or a lesser charge be imposed on the defendant. All it takes is one. I hope, more than anything, they look at the autopsy photos while deliberating. There's not much explanation needed. Self defense and a brutal murder are two very different things. The photos alone prove that self defense was not the case.

It's weird how you can grow to care for someone you have never met and never will. I've seen the videos of Travis being his goofy self. I've read stories of his generosity and his character. It was a life of so much potential that was cut too short by a jealous and evil woman. I know his family thinks about where he would be now had he not been brutally murdered. It has to be an all-consuming feeling of grief that will never fully be resolved. I can only hope that this jury is insulted at Jodi's lies to them directly and the way this man's life ended.

I have made many online friends throughout this trial on Facebook and Twitter. My go-to source for trial talk is Justice4Travis. My Twitter handle is AriasTrialTalk. Let's say a prayer for the Alexander family, Juan, and the jurors. Feel free to discuss all things related in the comments section! I am interested to hear everyone's opinion! Let's hope justice for Travis is served.